Some dads struggle after the birth of their child.

They feel lost, afraid, or angry. The moods come hard and fast at times, so much so that some fathers become anxious about how well they can care for their families. The adjustment is so difficult that their relationships suffer and bonding with the baby seems impossible.

For months, many dads suffer in silence, feeling weak and inadequate. Unfortunately, they often don't know what society is slowly coming to realize: postpartum depression for men is real and deserving of attention.

What is PPD?

Paternal Postpartum Depression (PPD) is the actual diagnosis for fathers who find themselves in this trying emotional position. If you struggle this way, you are not alone. Research indicates that up to 10% - 25% of new fathers develop this type of depression.

There are key risk factors that can lead to or worsen PPD for some men. The most common are poor sleep, dips in testosterone, relationship tension with their partners, financial stress, and a sense of exclusion from the bond between his partner and their babies. Also, one of the most significant risk factors for paternal postpartum depression in the father is postpartum depression in the mother. 

New fathers who develop PPD often demonstrate the following general symptoms of depression:

• experience unexplained, persistent sadness

• high levels of stress

• feelings of worthlessness

• loss of interest in formerly pleasurable activities

• weight changes

• fatigue

• suicidal thoughts

Sad Dads Have Unique Postpartum Challenges

A dad who struggles with low moods and depression after the birth of their child obviously may not have the same experience as their child's mother. However, the amount of stress and change does take a toll on new fathers in key ways that are unique to them. These distinct PPD symptoms may include:

• Persistent low moods three to six months after the birth

• Resentment, frustration, impatience, even tendencies toward violence

• Mixed feelings or confusion about manhood, fatherhood, being a spouse/partner

• Physical tension, illness, and discomforts (headaches, digestive problems, and muscle pain)

• Extreme work behavior (vacillation between no interest and periods of single-minded focus on job obligations)

• Rash or reckless behavior that risks the future of the family

So, How Does a Sad Dad Cope? 

If you recognize that your experience with fatherhood looks much like PPD, consider the following strategies for help:

Acceptance is the key to turning things around

To understand how to heal your family life, you must acknowledge and accept your feelings for what they are. Resist the urge to continue hiding your feelings. Misplaced shame and guilt will only add to your confusion and impede your willingness to seek help.

Don't let societal stereotypes associated with manhood or the stigmas of depression keep you from facing your internal need for relief.

Let your partner in

Open communication with your partner is paramount during this delicate time. Sharing your feelings clearly and openly with the one person who shares your parental responsibilities is vital for your bond. If you find it too difficult to reach out to your partner, consider working with a couples counselor to help you work through any fears or unresolved resentments. 

Seek help from people who will listen, not judge

To move forward, seeking a conclusive diagnosis is vital for your family.

Now is the time to be proactive and intentional as you reach out to a therapist and support groups you deem helpful. Talking to qualified, compassionate people can go a long way in making you feel safe to be vulnerable and honest about your post-birth experience.

Your work with a therapist and/or support group can also serve as a means for learning healthy coping methods and relationship skills when you are on your own.

Embrace stress-management and self-care activities 

Retaining a cache of self-help practices is important for coping with PPD as well. To effectively reduce stress and depression symptoms, the following practices are helpful:

• Routine exercise

• Healthy nutrition and hydration

• Sleep well and deeply on a nightly basis

• Meditation and mindfulness techniques

• Journal for reflection

• Deep breathing, stretching, or yoga for relaxation

Executing these types of self-care practices helps ensure a sense of control and empowerment that can rein in dark thoughts and provide more hope and positivity when you start to feel overwhelmed.

Finally...

Paternal postpartum depression is serious, but it is also treatable. The main focus now is to acknowledge your own emotional and mental health needs. The health and future of your family must take priority as well. You deserve help and support. 

Let me help ease the pressure. Please read more about perinatal therapy. I'm here to talk.