Trust is a crucial factor in any relationship. Without it, everything from communication to comfort can be severely strained. It’s something that is earned and built over time and can make your relationship strong and secure. 

Building trust can be difficult. But, when trust in a relationship is broken, rebuilding it can feel next to impossible. 

It’s hard to trust someone again after they’ve “wronged” you in some way. Maybe it was a simple white lie, or maybe it was something that shook your relationship to its core. Whatever the case, rebuilding trust needs to be a choice, because it’s something that will take time and effort. 

If you truly want to rebuild trust in your relationship and work things out, it is possible. While that doesn’t mean every day will be easy, there are key steps you can take to rebuild trust from the ground up. 

Think About How the Trust Was Broken

It’s difficult to dwell on the action(s) that broke the trust in your relationship. You might even think that focusing on it won’t allow you to move forward. But you need to acknowledge it and really think about it in order to heal. It’s also important to consider the reason behind it. 

For example, if your partner lied to you, what was the lie about? Did they have a better option? Did they lie to keep from hurting you, or was it done to “save” themselves? 

There are two sides to every story. You might not want to hear what your partner has to say, but it’s an important thing to work through if you want to move forward. It’s rare for someone in a relationship to just blindly break trust. So, consider the reason(s) behind it as you move ahead. 

Communicate Regularly

In order to work through the trust that was broken, you have to talk to your partner. It can be incredibly painful, but it’s a necessary step. 

Don’t be afraid to tell them how you feel without being accusatory. Getting into an argument will not solve any of the problems you’re facing. Instead, focus on telling them why you’re hurt and what you need from them to work on building trust again. 

Your conversation about what happened doesn’t need to be a “onetime thing.” Talk about it as many times as you need, especially in moments when you’re hurting. 

Choose to Forgive

Again, committing yourself to your relationship after trust is broken is a choice. Choosing to forgive your partner is another choice. Unfortunately, it’s not something everyone does particularly well. 

Forgiveness is about more than just saying the words. You have to be willing to avoid dwelling on the past so you can open up your heart again. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you forget what happened. But, instead of holding it against your partner, you can both use it as an experience to learn and grow. 

What If You Break the Trust in Your Relationship?

If you are the person in your relationship who initially broke that trust, rebuilding might look a little different. The best thing you can do, aside from sincerely apologizing, is to give your partner time. Be as communicative as they want to be and let whatever they need guide your next move in the relationship. 

Don’t force anything or make excuses for whatever you did. Instead, look inward to have a better understanding of why you broke that trust, in the first place. 

Is rebuilding trust in a relationship difficult? Absolutely. But, if you both have a strong, solid commitment to the bond you’ve built, it’s not impossible. Keep these keys in mind to start healing as a couple, and you might even end up stronger than ever.