Understanding the Teen Brain: Not a Child, Not Yet an Adult

As we enter adulthood, we tend to forget the challenges we faced as teenagers. We often look back on our teenage years, remembering them a little more positively than we did as we went through them. Once you become a parent yourself and start parenting a teen, it becomes harder to remember what it was truly like growing up. Especially with a decade or two between your generation, it can seem like this new generation is totally unlike your own.

Trying to parent any child can be hard, especially with a teenager in the house. The circumstances that teenagers deal with may change. After all, we are now raising teenagers who have grown up with technology and have been able to use it since they were small. One of the most important things to remember about raising a teenager is that their brains are still developing. They are still growing up, learning about the world around them and who they are. Here are a few reasons why the teenage brain is different.

It's Still In The Development Stage

Your teenager seems to be all over the place lately. One day they want to spend time with you, and the next, they act like they can't stand the thought of you. One day they are argumentative, and the next, they seem perfectly amicable. Learning to navigate the murky waters of the teenage years requires one main thing; remembering that their brain is still developing.

This is the awkward stage where they aren't a child anymore. But they don't have enough life experience or maturity to be considered an adult. One misconception about the human brain, in general, is that after a certain age, it stops developing. In terms of physical size, this is absolutely true. But the brain is a remarkable organ and is constantly in development.

For teenagers especially, the added hormones and shifting of brain patterns and ways of thinking can be hard for adults to deal with. But this also contributes to understanding why raising a teenager is similar to riding a roller coaster.

They Really Are Listening...

If it seems like your teenager can shut their ears off and not listen to a thing you tell them or ask them, this isn't true! While you may think they are ignoring you on purpose, it is just more likely that their brain is very overwhelmed. While, as adults, we may not be able to understand the "why" behind the things they say or do—one thing is for sure, they really are listening. Note that listening here does not mean obeying. A teenage brain is like a sponge. They constantly observe and learn new things, even if they don't outwardly show it.

A Developing Brain = A Greater Chance Of Stress

Do you scratch your head sometimes, wondering why your teen seems so stressed out? You ask them to clean their room or help with a household chore, and it's like you asked them something impossible—cue the tantrum and slamming of doors or the snarky attitude.

Remember that as their brains develop, everything hits them like a ton of bricks. Their emotions are already all over the place. They are dealing with new social situations and trying to figure out who they are. They have a lot on their plates, even if the plate is smaller than yours. It might seem silly that a teen could become easily distressed over unloading the dishwasher. But, with the constant changes in hormone levels, it's normal for a teen to become overwhelmed easily.

If you are struggling to understand your child in their teen years, teen counseling can help both you and them navigate the ever-changing waves that come with these years. Reach out to us when you are ready or if you are interested in online therapy for your teen.