Working Through Complicated Grief After Divorce
Divorce hits like a gut punch, leaving you reeling and unsure how to move forward. The following grief isn’t just sadness — it’s a messy tangle of anger, relief, regret, and a dozen other emotions you can’t even name. Perhaps you’re wondering what complicated grief is after divorce. Complicated grief after divorce is like grief’s unruly cousin — it doesn’t follow the rules and can stick around way longer than you’d like.
What Makes It Complicated?
Imagine your typical grief decided to crash on your couch indefinitely. That’s complicated grief for you. It’s when the pain of losing your marriage doesn’t ease up over time. You might find yourself:
Constantly replaying the “what ifs” in your head
Feeling stuck in a cycle of anger or sadness
Having trouble accepting the reality of divorce
It’s like your emotions are on a never-ending rollercoaster, and you can’t seem to get off the ride. Your future plans, shared friendships, and even your identity as a spouse — are gone. It’s no wonder your brain might struggle to process all that loss. Plus, unlike other types of grief, you might still have to deal with your ex regularly, especially if you have kids.
Recognizing the Signs
If months have passed and you’re still feeling as raw as day one, it might be complicated grief knocking at your door. You might notice:
Intense longing for your old life
Difficulty functioning in daily life
Isolating yourself from others
Remember, there’s no shame in struggling. Complicated grief is a real thing, and recognizing it is the first step towards healing.
Strategies to Help Process Complicated Grief
Embrace Your Feelings
You’ve been through a lot, and feeling a whirlwind of emotions is okay. The package includes sadness, anger, confusion, and guilt. Don’t push these feelings away; instead, acknowledge them. It’s like giving yourself a big emotional hug and saying, “Hey, I see you, and you’re valid.”
Find Your Outlet
Are you bottling up those feelings? It is better to find healthy ways to let it all out. You may need a good cry with your best friend or a heart-to-heart with a therapist. Support groups can be awesome, too — there’s something comforting about being around people who get it. Whatever works for you, ensure you’re not keeping it all inside.
Treat Yourself Right
Now’s the time to focus on you. Think of self-care as your new part-time job. Fuel your body with good food, get moving with some exercise (even if it’s just a walk around the block), and prioritize sleep. Your mind and body will thank you for it.
Give Yourself a Break
Healing isn’t a straight line — it’s more like a rollercoaster. Some days, you’ll feel on top of the world; others, you’ll want to hide under the covers. That’s totally normal. Be patient with yourself, and remember that it’s okay to have bad days. Each step forward, no matter how small, is progress.
Limit Contact
If possible, try to keep communication with your ex to a minimum. Constant contact can be like picking at a scab — it might feel satisfying in the moment, but it slows down the healing process. Give yourself the space to detach and grow.
Set Boundaries
It’s okay to say “no” to people who want you to rehash painful memories or take sides. Your mental health matters, so don’t be afraid to establish boundaries — even with well-meaning friends or family members. You’re in charge of your healing journey.
Tap Into Your Inner Strength
You’ve been through a lot, but guess what? You’re still standing. Take a moment to appreciate your resilience. Your inner strength has carried you this far and will propel you forward. Trust in yourself and the amazing things you’re capable of achieving.
As you navigate this period, remember that healing isn’t linear. Some days will feel like progress, others like backsliding. Online therapy can help you navigate this difficult time. Contact our office to set up an appointment.