What You Need to Know About Dating Someone with Depression
When you begin dating someone new, you constantly discover new things about them. There are all the basic things about them, like their favorite color, favorite music, and where they grew up. As your relationship progresses, the conversations move from the shallow end into deeper subjects.
Discovering new things about each other is a wonderful experience. It can also be hard to hear about past experiences that your partner went through that hurt them. It's even harder to find out that they are struggling with a mental health issue, such as depression. While depression is one of the most common mental health conditions, it's also one that is misunderstood. Here's what you should know.
Depression is More Than Just Sadness
Yes, feeling sad is one of the hallmark symptoms of depression. However, it is more than just feeling down or occasionally blue. We often hear people say phrases such as, "I feel so depressed today," to describe feelings of sadness. In many cases, these are passing emotions that will disappear in a few days.
Clinical depression is not like that. For many people, including your partner, the emotional impact of feeling sad doesn't just go away. Additionally, there are many other signs and symptoms of depression. These can include:
Feeling hopeless
Low self-esteem
Changes in sleeping habits (often sleeping more.)
Changes in eating habits (either eating too much or not enough)
Loss of energy
Stomach issues
Unexplained muscle aches or pain
Loss of interest in activities
While your partner is likely struggling to appear happy throughout the day, they are likely also fighting a host of other challenging symptoms.
It's Not a Choice
One of the more challenging misconceptions that people have about depression is that it's somehow a choice. You will hear people say things like, "Just smile! It can't be that bad." These phrases ultimately undermine the experience of depression. Depression isn't a choice.
You should know your partner is trying their best to get through the day, but it's hard. They aren't actively choosing to feel these things. Knowing this can help you talk to them with more empathy and understanding.
They Aren't a Project
As we said above, your partner isn't making this choice to struggle with depression. More than anything, they want you to accept them as they come.
We all face issues in life, but we want to be accepted for who we are. We must know that, despite everything, we have people there to support us. At the end of the day, we have people to turn to. Your partner may not be able to articulate these words to you. After all, dealing with depression also means that somebody likely feels as if they are a burden to other people.
Show them you are there for them, even if your relationship is new. Don't try to fix things or make them feel like a project that needs to be tackled. Of course, try to do things together that make them happy, even if it's only temporary. Go for a walk together, go out to eat, or watch that movie they love with them. On that same note, don't pressure them into something if they don't feel like doing something.
They'll Be Ups and Downs
Whether you are newly dating or have been together for a little while, any relationship will have ups and downs. There will be good moments that you will share and some bad ones, too. No relationship is perfect, and no individual person is, either.
To help support your partner, don't hesitate to encourage them to reach out for support through depression treatment at our practice.
